do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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