we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
