I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
