they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
