I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
