Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
