So drunk its hurt
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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