He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
