How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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