Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
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I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
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Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.