I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.