Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
