Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
