isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
