Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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