the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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