My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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