Me. At least after what I've been through.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
