u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
