dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Can I color on your dick again?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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