Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
