Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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