You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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