why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
