There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
