there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
