Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
