Duck Duck Cougar?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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