from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
