I think scott just propositioned me for sex
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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