My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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