OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize