Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
