i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
sarcasm needs its own font
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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