conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize