well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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