Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
