oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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