do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
