69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You can't just leave with hair like that
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
