It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
