He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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