I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
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week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
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You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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