its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
