I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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