Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
