So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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