It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
