He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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