How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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