he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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