She is in my trunk
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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