what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
