My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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