pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
