Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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